Navigating the Stay-at-Home Dad Life: Advice from a Fellow Dad

In my experience as stay-at-home dad there have been rough times when emotions are high, while other times it's been smooth sailing. These waves of emotions can span an hour or less to days on end depending on the situation. It is for these moments that it is important to keep a few things in mind. First, this rollercoaster of emotions doesn't have to last long and most of the won't. Secondly, whether during the highs or lows there are moments for significant bonding opportunities between you as dad and husband with your child(ren) and wife. Yes, evening during the low points when you feel like a failure. This happens for every parent at least once, which is the third point. Because this feeling is felt by most parents take courage and keep going.

There have been tips and tricks that have helped me as I navigate being a stay-at-home dad. Most other websites and blogs on this topic will list similar tips as well, but it is important to keep these moving forward for future dads as well. Some advice from this dad include the following:

Communication with your partner and other people. Not only is this the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, but it can also be especially important starting out staying at home. Whether starting with your first born or coming into this after a job loss, communication with your partner is paramount to your own mental health as you begin experiencing life with limited outside social interactions. Maintaining relationships in other ways than face-to-face is important in keeping you from isolation. And is more important if living in new places after a move where you know no one because of job opportunities. In these instances, it is important to get out and get to know others by seeing what's going on and getting involved with a local church or community event.

Periodic rest and relaxation for yourself is another important thing to do. This could be as simple as taking a day going out for coffee, get a haircut with a beard trim or shave, and finish off by taking yourself out for a nice lunch. Or scheduling time for a long weekend get-a-way, such as camping, silent retreat at a monastery, or a golf tournament. Staying home to enjoy some time alone while the rest of the family goes out is an option as well. Allowing time to watch movies, tv shows, reading, or any other hobby that is hard to do while watching the littles. This could also include time for some much-needed prayer and holy hour, either at home or your local parish church. Tending time to your spiritual life is not only important for you, but for the rest your family.

Staying home with the kids can allow you to be a kid again that benefits your relationship with everyone in the family. For the first few years at least, sometimes longer based on the interest of the kids, there is the joy of wrestling and tossing the kids around, I mean this literally as some kids like to be tossed on the bed or couch, one minute and the next be drinking imaginary tea. Which leads into the idea of being flexible in most everything when comes to a routine. For example, I use the popular show Bluey as reference to how the parents in that show are flexible in their work and chores while allowing space to play with their girls. There is no routine that is so rigid that doesn't allow for the inevitable mess. Embrace the flexible routine and have fun with your kids. The added benefit here is the naturally low frequency of screen time usage. Engaging with your kids will be way more beneficial for their overall health and yours.

The final tip is to consider the future during this time. If being a stay-at-home dad happened by accident while not knowing what to do as a career path, consider it a time of self-discovery. If this happened due to personal injury, illness, or job loss for whatever reason, consider it as a gift to be with your kids to make up for all those long days and nights spent away at work. In either case spend time with your kids while considering the many options out there. This could be the long overdue opportunity you've been looking for to start a new career or going back to school to start a new career or advance in your current one. I have chosen to use this time for the latter by going back to school to become a clinical psychologist.

This list of tips and advice from this fellow dad is far from being exhausted. There are many ways and approaches to navigating the life of a stay-at-home dad that I have used, tried, and tossed by on what works for us. But few are as rewarding as the ones listed above. Communicating with your partner in a way that is open and honest, while playing with the kids, is the fastest way I know of in forming a happy, healthy family. This doesn't mean rough times won't come, they will, but they can be lessened because the good times outnumber the bad. Taking time for yourself isn't selfish, it's needed for your own mental health and spiritual wellbeing as well as everyone else's. And having a set routine that is flexible will also help. Considering this time as a gift and an opportunity for future growth will also be rewarding.